Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Crazy weekend. Crazy people

My Memorial Day weekend was crazy. I mean crazy insane. Really, it was crazy, busy, insane. I worked from Friday through Monday and all the days had a funny way of running together. I’m not sure I could tell you the details about any certain event that happened, but I do know that on my way home from work late Monday afternoon, the thought of writing another “Stupid or Unfortunate” post entered my mind.

What is it about a 3-day-weekend to start the summer that makes some people turn stupid? Or are they baseline-stupid already, and then they just get stupider?

If any of you figure that out, just let me know.

Here is a little list for helpful hints as we start the summer:

Things that will someday manage to kill off the human race
(or maybe just the stupid people):
10. Throwing gas on a campfire. You’d think people would figure this out since the humans have been using fire for a few years now.

9. Backyard trampolines-- because kids just don't have enough ways of injuring themselves already?

8. Working on roofs and climbing around on ladders without appropriate safety equipment. Unless you can fly, this isn’t a great idea.

7. Anything that involves building a ramp.

6. Riding bikes without helmets. You kind of like your face and brain, don’t you?

5. ATV's. You do know these aren't toys, right? And would you trust your 7 yr-old driving your car?

4. Motorcycles. If you responsibly accept the risk of riding – you’re brave…Godspeed. If you lack responsibility, a helmet, or proper attire – you’re an idiot (and I don’t feel sorry for you or the chunks of skin you left on the road)

3. Not wearing seatbelts. Seriously... I can't believe that people still get in a car and don't buckle up immediately. Head, meet windshield.

2. Picking fights at a bar at closing time. Can you say “impaired judgment”?

1. Combining drugs or alcohol with #10, #9, #8, #7, #6, #5, #4, #3, or #2. Got a death wish, or do you just like pain? And now I really, really don’t feel sorry for you.

Feel free to spread the word to you kids, your spouses, your parents, or any stupid people you may know.

I guess I shouldn't rant too much. Job security, right?

Thursday, May 22, 2008

The firepit is open for business again

So...I'm out mowing the lawn this morning, when I notice that the Mama and Papa Kildeer are especially irritated by my presense. Not that the roar of a lawnmower on a beautiful, sunny morning isn't enough to bug anyone, but really - they were mad. Like attack-mode-mad.

Once I got up around the firepit, this is what I found:

Pretty cute huh? Well, cuter than those icky, slimy, disgusting-looking robins when they are newly hatched. Sorry all you robin-lovers. But you gotta admit they're kind of ugly.

Educational note of the day:

Baby birds that hatch with their running shoes on are called precocial. Precocial means "ripened beforehand." (The word comes from the same Latin sourceas "precocious.") Other precocial birds besides killdeer are chickens, ducks, and quail. None of these precocial babies lies in the nest and gets waited on. They will be up and running within 24 hours.

Birds that hatch blind, naked, and helpless are called altricial, which comes from a Greek word meaning "wet nurse." Robins are altricial, as are blue jays, cardinals and most other birds. The hatchlings lie helplessly in their nests, relying utterly on their parents to bring them food and push it down their throats. It's two weeks or more before they mature enough to leave the nest, and even after they leave it, their parents are still feeding them.

Precocial birds stay in the egg twice as long as altricial birds, so they have more time to develop. A one-day-old killdeer chick is actually two weeks older than a one-day-old robin nestling. Although adult robins and killdeer are the same size, a killdeer's egg is twice as big as a robin's. There's more nourishment built into the killdeer egg, to sustain the embryo for its longer time in the shell.

If you look closely at the picture above, you can see a small hole in the remaining un-hatched egg. Cool, huh?

Mama kildeer still doesn't like me very much as you can see:

After running for my camera, taking a few shots, and getting a drink of water; I went back to finish the lawn. Wouldn't you know - I couldn't get that damn lawnmower started again.

I think it's Kildeer Karma.

Thursday, May 15, 2008


Maddie and Clare had a Spa Retreat/Sleepover last weekend. When I asked them if I could join them, they said, " can be the worker."


So, I became the manager of the spa. In this spa, our small clients sit in a bathtub for their services. Don't laugh. It's what all the upscale places are doing these days.

We started with a smoothing hand treatment. The clients were amazed at how silky their hands felt and how youthful they looked. It's as if the treament magically eliminated the years of hard labor.

Then we moved on to the facial with a skin-firming mask...

...and fresh cucumbers to reduce the swelling and get rid of those bags under their eyes.

And the cucmbers came in handy since the clients were working up quite an appetite at this point. You know, all that beautifying is hard work.

And here are the fabulous results of these amazing spa treatments:

They don't look a day over nine, do they?

I think he'll be a Democrat

As we were filling gas last weekend, Will asked, "Mom, why can't we all just drive electric cars and end this dumb war?"

Hmmm...good question.


Here is Will's baseball team getting ready for their first game:

Safety first. Batting helmets are essential to all baseball players. Especially when you have a nine-year-old kid throwing a small, round, hard object at another nine-year-old kid with all the strength (and control) he can muster.

Maybe they should think about pads.

Or full body armor.

Here's my big guy walking up to the plate. I know he's got butterflies in his tummy and slightly shakey knees right now.

Mom's just know that kind of stuff.

Now he's thinking "keep your eye on the ball and keep your elbow up" despite the butterflies and shakey knees. But you can't tell, can you? He's pretty good at playing it cool on the outside.

Here's our good friend and neighbor Matthew. This night, he just happened to be the rival. The opponent. The competetion.

He looks like he means business, doesn't he?

I actually can't remember if this was a hit or not. but Coach/Dad says this a great picture for correcting your swing-technique...

Ready... Set...

Blowing by good friend,neighbor, rival, opponent, competition Matthew...

On third and looking for home...

Turn on the jets, buddy!

Then it was time to take the field. If you can't tell by his expression and body language, Will isn't a big fan of


left field.