I really love you, babe. But...

I think I need to start this post by stating that I love my husband dearly and there is no one else I’d rather be married to (well, maybe except for Brett Farve…) I knew from the first day I met him that he was the one for me. He’s a great dad, an amazing husband, he’s incredibly intelligent, way cute, and he makes me happy. But, my God – he’s driving me crazy with his freakin’ car!

You see, we have opposing views on many things…politics, spirituality, and the importance and relevance of math in one’s life (but that’s a story for another time). You name it; we could have a pretty good debate over it. Our most recent source of contention has been his stinkin’ piece of crap old “reliable” 1994 Dodge Intrepid.

I think our basic foundational beliefs in cars and their functionality, reliability, and appearance stems from our childhood experiences and our own fathers. My dad likes toys and spontaneous purchases, and he still does (right, Mr. Corvette?). He gets a new car every few years, and has ever since I can remember. He doesn’t like to mess with repairs and won’t chance safety by ever questioning their reliability…it’s just easier to trade it in and start over. Bill’s dad, on the other hand, has always been very handy under the hood of a car or truck. He taught his son about repairs and the importance of maintenance. He is very smart, practical and carefully calculates several factors (repair costs, Blue Book trade-in value, personal fix-it ability, safety, finances and Consumer Reports) when deciding to buy a new car.

God knows I love them both dearly, but they are a little different in that way…

So, here’s the story on Bill’s car:
(disclosure: the following technical car information and automotive accuracy is coming from one who know absolutely nothing about cars - me):

• Purchased about 5 years ago from my sister Jill for $1000
  
• Woo hoo – no car payments since 2002!
  
• White, multiple rust spots throughout the body that my dearest has since “fixed” with a can of spray paint. You can hardly tell until a new spot appears…
  
• It’s huge - even longer than my minivan. It's really hard to get it parked right and it barely fits in the garage. In fact there's a few scratches and dents in the back bumper to prove it.
  
• It’s been stalling lately. A lot.
  
• He has a “trick” to get it restarted while coasting. Usually.
  
• Replaced the spark plugs ($$)…
  
• Didn’t work
  
• Replaced the fuel injector thingy ($$$)…
  
• Didn’t work
  
• He called me last week to tell me he was stalled alongside of I-94 in rush hour traffic and his “trick” wouldn’t work.
  
• Had to call tow truck.
  
• Ooops! False alarm. Turn around, tow truck…got it started after all.
  
• Sh**! Stalled again. Called very-helpful-neighbor Varen for a ride.
  
• Ooops! False alarm. Again. Turn around very-helpful-neighbor Varen.
  
• Whew…finally made it home
  
• Drove 4 little kids up to the school for swimming.
  
• Crap…stalled again. Should they all walk home?
  
• Never mind – it started!
  
• Replaced the fuel pump and little screw-in gadget ($$$$)
  
• To be continued…

Personally, I’m never touching it again. I don’t want to get stuck alongside I-94 in rush-hour traffic. Just the thought of it makes my bladder tingle. Plus, I don’t know the “trick”.

So, I ask you, readers: When is it time to put this big, white hunk of partially-rusted metal out of its misery?

Yesterday, you say?

OK…I’ll pass that along to Bill.



So, although I hate your car more than almost anything in this world, honey - I love you. (And by the way – I was just kidding about the Brett Farve thing…)

We'll call her "Helen"

When I got in line at Target yesterday, I looked up and saw I was in Helen’s line. I don’t really know her name, but to me, she looks like a Helen. Since I was a couple customers back, I debated backing out and picking a line that was not Helen’s line. But then I got trapped. So I stayed.

You see, I try to avoid Helen.

Upon our first encounter about a month ago, I thought she was just an incredibly unhappy and miserable woman who hated her Target cashier job and wore latex gloves to avoid touching other people’s filthy groceries. She repeatedly glared at me as I pushed my cart up and requested “Paper, please.” She audibly huffed with each can of crushed pineapples she placed in the bag. And she never smiles. Ever. Never ever.

So, I’ve been through her line several times and it’s always the same thing: glare – scowl – gloves – huff – glare – huff – scowl - etc… And the gloves. What is with that? Does she have some strange obsessive-compulsive disorder in which she cannot allow herself to touch groceries? Is she a germophobe? Boy, is she in the wrong line of work. I love Target. I love Target so much; I sometimes go there just for fun. And she put a sour note at the end of each visit.

Then one day last week, my curiosity got the best of me. As she was huffing and pulling on the gloves, I asked her, “So…why the gloves?” She looked up with yet another scowl and said, “It’s the paper bags. I’m allergic.” Huff. And she proceeded to bag my groceries.

Really? Allergic to paper grocery bags?

I hate plastic bags at Target. I actually hate those plastic bags anywhere. Sure, they’re fine if you just buying a bra and a couple tubes of toothpaste. But $163 worth of groceries? Shoved haphazardly in those little plastic bags? God, I hate that! I refuse to use those bags. Plus, the liberal, democrat, Al-Gore-loving side of me feels a little greener using paper.

So, that brings me to where I started this little entry. As my turn approached, I slowly wheeled my cart up beside her. She looked up and glared, ready for me to make my usual request for paper. My eyes went from hers, to the big latex gloves lying beside the cash register, and back to hers again. She continued to glare, and met my gaze, as she fluffed open one of those plastic bags. I stared at her as she placed the first box of Cheerios in the plastic. And then added 1 more (since that’s all those damn bags really hold, anyway). It was like a showdown – I swear I saw a tumbleweed blow by in the corner of my eye. And then I opened my mouth…

…and didn’t say a single word. Gah!!!

So, am I a big wussy wimp? Or am I just a concerned person not wanting to witness, much less be the cause of, an anaphylactic reaction?

I think I’ll just avoid Helen’s line on my next trip to Target. Who the hell is allergic to paper grocery bags, anyway?

Don't you just love a quiz?

1. WHAT CURSE WORD DO YOU USE THE MOST?
I try not to. Sometimes I just catch myself mouthing the word…

2. DO YOU OWN AN IPOD?
No. I don’t really like to figure out how to use stuff like that.

3. WHAT PERSON ON YOUR TOP 8 DO YOU TALK TO THE MOST?
I don’t know what a “Top 8” is, but I talk to my sister Jill a lot.

4. WHAT TIME IS YOUR ALARM CLOCK SET TO?
5:00 on work days, otherwise my kids wake me up about 6:15 after they get dressed on school days. (Does that make me a bad mom?)

6. DO YOU WEAR FLIP-FLOPS WHEN IT'S COLD?
Are you crazy? I live in Minnesota.

7. WOULD YOU RATHER TAKE THE PICTURE OR BE IN THE PICTURE?
Depends how much I weigh…

8. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Dreamgirls. I couldn’t quite make it through the whole thing - zzzzzz

9. DO ANY OF YOUR FRIENDS HAVE CHILDREN?
Most

10. HAS ANYONE EVER CALLED YOU LAZY?
I don’t think so

11. DO YOU EVER TAKE MEDICATION TO HELP YOU FALL ASLEEP?
No – I have no problems in that department.

12. WHAT CD IS CURRENTLY IN YOUR CD PLAYER?
John Mayer in the car and Dixie Chicks in my room. Odd combo, huh?

13. DO YOU PREFER REGULAR OR CHOCOLATE MILK?
Both are good

14. HAS ANYONE TOLD YOU A SECRET THIS WEEK?
Not that I remember…just for that reason, I’m a really good keeper-of-secrets!

15. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD STARBUCKS?
I don't remember - I actually prefer Caribou.

16. CAN YOU WHISTLE?
Yep – but not very good

17. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Smile

18. DO YOU THINK PEOPLE TALK ABOUT YOU BEHIND YOUR BACK?
Only good things, I’m sure…

19. DID YOU WATCH CARTOONS AS A CHILD?
I liked Scooby Doo and Smurfs

20. WHAT MOVIE DO YOU KNOW EVERY LINE TO?
None. But I do know every word to “The Devil Went Down to Georgia”.

23. DO YOU OWN ANY BAND T-SHIRTS?
Not anymore. My first band shirt was RATT when I was 14.

24. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SALAD DRESSING?
Blue Cheese.

25. IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU?
A whole bunch!

26. DO YOU DO YOUR OWN DISHES?
I like to do my dishes despite the fact that we have a dishwasher. I think I’m a little OCD and it feels good to have my dishes clean, organized and in one place. How’s that for weird?

27. EVER CRY IN PUBLIC?
I try no to.

28. ARE YOU ON A DESKTOP COMPUTER OR A LAP TOP?
Desktop.

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY WANTING ANY PIERCINGS OR TATTOOS?
No piercings, but I’d get a tattoo if I could figure out what to get and where to put it. Since I don’t know those – I’m taking it as a sign that I probably shouldn’t get a tattoo.

30. WHATS THE WEATHER LIKE?
Humid, rainy, warm. Is it really September?

31. WOULD YOU EVER DATE ANYONE COVERED IN TATTOOS?
Sure, if I wasn’t married. My husband has a great one – you should ask him to see it…

32. WHAT DID YOU DO BEFORE THIS?
Drove the kids to school – too rainy for the bus stop.

33. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SLEPT ON THE FLOOR?
I have no idea…but that would kill my back I wouldn’t be able to walk for a week.

34. HOW MANY HOURS OF SLEEP DO YOU NEED TO FUNCTION?
7-ish

35. DO YOU EAT BREAKFAST DAILY?
Yes

36. ARE YOUR DAYS FULL AND FAST PACED?
Sometimes.

37. DO YOU PAY ATTENTION TO THE CALORIES IN THE PACKAGE/BOX?
I try to.

38. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Never…

39. HOW OLD WILL YOU BE TURNING ON YOUR NEXT BIRTHDAY?
I'll be 38, but that’s almost a whole year away.

40. ARE YOU PICKY ABOUT SPELLING AND GRAMMAR?
Yes -but not in comparison to my husband. That’s exactly why we can’t write our annual Christmas letter together anymore.

41. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO SIX FLAGS?
Yes

43. DO YOU GET ALONG BETTER WITH THE SAME SEX OR THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Hmmm…depends.

44. DO YOU LIKE MUSTARD?
Spicy brown.

45. DO YOU SLEEP ON YOUR SIDE, STOMACH or BACK?
Side and back

46. DO YOU WATCH THE NEWS?
I love to watch the news.

47. HOW DID YOU GET ONE OF YOUR SCARS?
Exiting my desk the wrong way in 2nd grade. I got my foot caught on the metal bar and fell right on my face. 16 stitches in my chin. Owww….

48. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU MAD?
The TruGreen ChemLawn receptionist. Actually the whole damn company pisses me off. Don’t get me started.

49. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY?
Sure…dumb question, don’t you think?

50. WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU PURCHASED?
A Tastefully Simple thing from my friend Dawn.

149, baby!

Some of my long time readers may have already seen this one; but in honor of my guy, Brett - who just so happens to be the winningest quarterback in NFL history, and just so happens to have defeated two playoff teams and brought his awesome Green Bay Packers to a 2-0 record (which, by the way, totally makes the Viking’s 1-1 record look pretty sucky), and just so happens to hold nearly every passing record in Packer history, and just so happens to have the cutest little smile ever...

… this is my tribute -



It's a catchy little tune...feel free to sing along if you want to.

Addiction

My name is Tammy. And I’m a blog-a-holic.

Hi, Tammy.

Yes. I know I have a problem. You might actually call it an addiction, really. It’s blog-surfing.

Really? Sounds dull…

Sometimes I’m amazed at how much time I can waste on this little habit. The minutes hours fly by as I delve into the lives of strangers. I look at pictures of their cousin’s friend’s wedding, read amazingly clever and really funny real-life stories, cry at their emotional out-pouring after pain or loss, and nearly wet my pants at the hilarious political satire.

Crazy chick.

I’m not sure what the appeal really is? I guess it’s all a bit voyeuristic, actually.

Freaky, crazy chick.

Today I thought I’d lure you into share some of my favorites.

First, my favorite one is Confessions of a Pioneer Woman. I’ve linked it here before. But I have to tell you again because I love her. I read her everyday. She is absolutely funny, candid and has a hottie cowboy husband. Pioneer Woman writes about her life on a working cattle ranch in Oklahoma, her obsession with PhotoShop, her retarded brother Mike, her 3 little punks, her big-city-girl-marries-cowboy life story, hiney-tingles and calf nuts. She takes amazing photographs and has a thing for Ethel Merman. She also writes a food blog with really great recipes called Pioneer Woman Cooks. Definitely check it out!

Cowboys, calf nuts and Ethel Merman? All at the same site? Hmmm…

I’ve recently discovered Circle Jerk at the Square Dance. It is filled with satire and sarcasm. It’s an amusing commentary on the state of the world and a great political blog. Well, that is, if you’re a Liberal. If you are a Bush-ie, you may want to skip this one. Check out his “Best of” list of the right side. God, I wish I was that funny…

Yeah. Me too.

Boobs, Injuries and Dr. Pepper is absolutely hilarious. She is a mom living in Mississippi. But it’s not at all a “mommy blog”. She cusses. A lot. I love how she can make seemingly mundane things very funny. In fact, her blog is like a written version of Seinfeld. With a few f-enhiemers flying around.

One more for you to check out: i am bossy. She is cute, quirky and has this funny way of writing in third-person all the time. And she does really cool stuff with her pictures - she can write on them! I haven't figured out how to do that yet...

Try Googling it, computer nerd.

So there it is. The “best-of” my addictions. Out there for the world to see. Now I need to get on with my day. Thanks for your support at this meeting. Can someone please show me to the door?

Uhhhmmm, yeah…Security?

Remembering...

This morning I hit my snooze button twice, was awakened by my son’s inquiry of the weather at recess today, and finally crawled out of my warm, cozy bed – feeling that this was no different than any other morning. The sun was shining brilliantly in a beautiful, clear blue sky. I helped Maddie dry her hair, cleared their breakfast dishes, and watched them run out to meet the bus. And then I realized it is September 11.

From what I remember, this morning was not that much different from that historical day 6 years ago. It was beautiful. And, as I’m sure you can as well, I remember the exact events of those several hours. I was getting the kids ready for their first day of preschool. I had turned the Today Show off so we could get ready without distraction – we were running a little late as usual. I was preoccupied, trying to mentally make a list of the remaining items we needed to pack for our trip to Oslo the following morning. I, along with 12 members of my family, was going to Norway for my sister, Jill’s wedding reception. And I wasn’t quite packed yet. As I was telling the kids to get their sandals on, the phone rang. It was my mother-in-law Jan. She asked me if I thought we’d still be going on our trip the following day.

I said, “Well, yeah. Why? What do you mean?”

“Turn on the TV”, she said.

I stood there in my kitchen trying to understand what I was seeing. Along with the rest of the world, I became engrossed in the unbelievable reality of the events the unfolded in NYC, Washington and Pennsylvania that day.

Today, our world has been forever altered by the events of that morning 6 years ago. My heart goes out to the survivors, the families, and the heroes of 9/11/01.

Is summer over?

Yesterday my kids were both sent to the "Planning Room" (aka: "discipline room", I think) to call home since I forgot to sign their daily planners for the past 3 days.

This morning, we all overslept and they missed the school bus.

I think I need a back to school orientation seminar.

3rd Grade...Here they come!

Wow! It seems like just last week we were gearing up for the end of school and the start of summer. It's really hard to believe that it's now September 4 and I'm all alone in my house at 7:45 in the morning.

But, truth be told, we were all ready for it to start. The kids are anxious to meet new friends, see old friends, and get to know their teachers. I'm just anxious to have a schedule again. Too many times during the past 3 months, Bill or I have shouted from bed, "Turn off the lights and be quiet! We're trying to sleep!"



Off to school. I hope those backpacks don't lead to disc herniation...


The bus stop is right next to our back yard - which is very convenient on the days we're running late.

I think they are all ready for school. Look- there is only 1 little boy waving back at his mom and dad.

And then we all headed back to our quiet houses to waste the day with absolutely nothing to do.

Whatever...

Minnesota State Fair

Yesterday we joined thousands of other fair-goers for the Great Minnesota Get-Together. After meeting up with Jan and Bill, we walked and ate and walked and ate. And then ate some more.

Just look...


Grandma, grandpa and the grandkids

Maddie started out with some cotton candy...

And then I had a foot long corn dog slathered in ketchup and mustard...

And then Bill opted for cheese-on-a-stick...


And then Billy snacked on some mini-donuts...

And then we took a gondola ride to rest our weary feet and full bellies...

And then we had some more corn dogs...

And some cheese curds and root beer...

And then Jan and Bill couldn't resist eggrolls-on-a-stick...

And then we took a break from all that crazy eating and rode the Giant Slide...


And then the boys were lured into the Alligator Hut for some Fried Gator and frozen grapes...



And Jan just loved the Twinkie-on-a-stick...

And then by some odd chance, we ran into our old friends, the Knauss's from Madison Lake. Bill and Brian went to high school together back in Rochester and he was in our wedding (12 years ago tomorrow!) We haven't seen them for a couple years - so it was a treat to run into them (get it?...treat?...food reference...)

And then Will found some more corn dogs. Straight mustard for him...

And then we pulled up some shade to enjoy root beer floats, bananas-on-a-stick, and fried gopher tails.

Ha!! No such thing...I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.

And then Will got to beat up Michael Jackson in a virtual reality video game.

Really. He said that's what they did...

And Bill and Billy eyed the SlingShot. $25 a ride!?!?!

And then Bill helped Maddie finish her cheesy pretzel...

He looks a little crabby here doesn't he? Is it the heat? the crowds? the indigestion?

And then Will enjoyed a box of popcorn...

And then the kids jumped on the Turbo Tramp...



And then, to wrap up the day at the fair, Bill finally found his Scotch Egg that he had been searching for for hours.

"So, what is a Scotch Egg?" you may ask. I know, because I did.

I knew this one needed further explanation. A picture is worth a thousand words...

Kinda makes you feel like you were right there with us, doesn't it?

Does your tummy ache? Do your feet hurt?

And did I mention it was my 37th birthday? I had such a great time - and I couldn't think of a better way to spend my day!

Thank God I had my cholesterol checked last week...

Have a great Labor Day weekend!